Musings of a Generic Asian

The Price of Changing Your Sex

The other day at dinner I commented out of anger due to pain from time of the month that I wanted to be a man. My male dinner companion quipped, “It’s not too late! You can do it anytime; there’s lots of surgery options!” I was a bit taken back by this as usually my Viking just groans and nods whenever I complain like this. Anyhow, I decided to look into it and see what is involved.

The official term is sex change or gender reassignment surgery when one decides to change their gender. There are usually 2 reasons for this: 1) babies are born with intersex deformities, so their sex is decided by the parents and surgery is done or 2) people believe that they are physically a different sex mentally and emotionally. There is also the unofficial reason #3 of people being exploited for the sex business, but all the sites I found were for people who want to do it on their own. Stats are difficult to come by as many surgeries are done in private clinics. Surgeryencyclopedia.com estimates that annually in the US 100-500 people have such surgeries and the number worldwide is estimated to be two to five times larger.

TSSurgeryGuide.com outlines a number of steps for either female to male or male to female surgeries required. Before some of these surgeries, extensive planning is required, such as scheduling multiple doctor appointments; dealing with family, friends, work; insurance; legal documents; taking time for recovery from surgery, etc. Transsexualroadmap.com offers tons of advice and financial calculator for those serious about change.

Male to Female (MTF) Surgeries

Breast Augmentation
Labiaplasty
One Stage MTF SRS/GRS – vaginoplasty
Orchiectomy -removal of the testicles
Tracheal Shave – Adam’s apple shaving

Female to Male (FTM) Surgeries
Hysterectomy
Ring or Simple Metoidioplasty – constructing the penis
Testicle Implants
Top Surgery – Chest reconstructive surgery

Male to Female (MTF)

Other than surgery, according to someone named “Clones Don’t Have 200k Pts” on Yahoo answers who made the transition from man to woman, there are a number of other things needed. Their transition cost about $80,000 USD:

Therapy. Sessions run $100-150/hr. At least a couple dozen sessions.
Facial hair removal. Done with electrolysis, laser or a combination of both. Electrolysis can cost $50-80/hr and between 150-300 hours is required to be hair free.
Body hair removal. Many people need laser treatment to help reduce excess body hair still left after starting hormones.
Endocrinologist. This doctor evaluates health, prescribes hormones, monitors progress and orders labwork to check hormone levels and liver function. Average cost per visit (with labwork): $500.
New Clothes. Cost depends on person’s fashion sense.
Legal fees for legal name change. New Birth certificate. New passport. Costs vary.
Facial surgery. Facial Feminization Surgery, the most expensive part of transition. Usually $20,000-45,000.
Breast augmentation. About $6-8,000.
Sex reassignment surgery. Costs vary, North America ($18,000-20,000) or overseas ($8,000-15,000).

Historically, one of the first recorded surgeries took place in the US in 1962. For those that aren’t queasy, it is amazing what kind of female organs can be created – medical diagrams and pictures are on this vaginoplasty site.

Female to Male (FTM)

Surgeryencyclopedia.com states that female to male reassignment surgery can exceed $50,000 USD while male to female reassignment is $7,000 to $24,000 USD. I’m guessing that female to male is more expensive due to removal and reconstruction of so many things (taking out uterus, making penis, creating broader torso, etc). Also, female plastic surgery in general is more common than male plastic surgery, so there is most likely better competitive pricing. Other items cost relatively the same (therapy, legal changes) and overall estimates I’ve read about online roughly total $80,000 USD as well, same as male to female. Medical pictures of these surgeries are outlined in a scientific paper published in Seminars in Plastic Surgery journal and surgery recovery time from penis reconstruction is stated to be about 2.5 weeks. This is only recovery time for one surgery, for multiple surgeries, times for recovery would vary.

And Then?

For the rest of their lives, people who change gender will need to continue taking hormones to counteract their “natural” ones. In an article published in Archives of sexual behavior, researchers studied 32 male-to-female and 23 female-to-male post surgery and found that female-to-males seem to have better sex lives. Generally, people’s expectations were met at an emotional and social level, but only 80% reported improvement of their sexuality.

What if you regret surgery?

Apparently it’s possible to go back…just do it all over again! A British millionaire named Sam Hashimi became Samantha Kane and then became Charles Kane. Dailymail UK interviewed him and apparently he is happier as a man now. Granted, going back and forth isn’t very good for the body as there is probably some consequence such as desensitization to certain areas due to nerve damage, etc. There are a number of other stories of regret online as well in which people become miserable for the rest of their lives as they suffered from bad surgeries or just changed their mind, but couldn’t go backwards for some reason.

Gender is a complicated issue and there are no easy solutions if one feels like they are suppose to be another sex. For those who actually do take all these steps to fulfill their dream of becoming a man or woman, they are super brave! Kudos to them! I hope they find happiness after all these challenging steps. In the future, would these surgeries become easier? It’s hard to say, cutting into flesh seems painful regardless.

When I was joking with my Viking that if I get a penis it would be bigger than his, he nodded with raised Spock eyebrows and said, “Of course, dear”. Hm, I guess this is what he means when he claims that I test/torture him everyday! Anyhow, I hope you learned something new from this random post!

What’s scarier to horror movies? McCarthyism!

asian, films, Uncategorized, warped

Last weekend I caught a film called Blue Kite about the rising of Communism in which people either willingly went along with the reform or they would be accused of being a “Rightist” and sentenced to hard labor. The story followed a little boy who grew up as he saw various people die around him. His father was accused of being a Rightist, sent far away to do hard labor and died after a tree fell on him. The family never recovered his body. Then his uncle dies due to a combination of malnourishment (there was a famine) and hard labor. His high ranking Communist stepfather is accused by other party members of being a Rightist as well and dies of a heart attack during interrogation. The landlady, who started off quite rich in the movie, ends up impoverished as her saved rations are taken from her (the accusers said she bought flour on the black market although the landlady says she saved it to make her son buns to welcome him home) and she is forced to lower all rents as entrepreneurship is not encouraged.

To balance the situations, there were lots of pro-Communist characters, with one being the boy’s aunt who talks ideally about how they were the pioneers, living in a time of historical change. In general, many of the people just wanted to live their lives and didn’t care too much about politics. There were lots of little old lady characters that just wanted peace and quiet for themselves as well as for the younger generations around them. However, no one really had any choice of not changing as reform started to set into the country. The movie isn’t about whether Communism is good or bad, but sheds light on how people are swept away by events beyond their control.

All the scenes of multiple characters being rounded up by masses of people and then taken away were frightful. It resonated with me that none of the “victims” protested at all. They seem to have decided there was either no point or they were in shock that their friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, etc, were throwing out accusations left and right without any proof. In horror stories, it’s more black and white: monster bad/hungry, humans good. Here, with people you have known turning against you, there is no telling what the motivations are. There was one character who kept saying that she didn’t know what happened and why she was even sent away.

When I told my Viking husband about “Blue Kite” and how it was frightening to see neighbours as well as friends turn against you, he told me to look up McCarthyism. Joseph Raymond “Joe” McCarthy was a Republican U.S. Senator represented the state of Wisconsin from 1947 until his death in 1957. During the Cold War, McCarthy started freaking people out by claiming there were large numbers of Communists and Soviet spies and sympathizers inside the United States federal government and elsewhere. He couldn’t prove his claims and was eventually censured by the United States Senate.

“McCarthyism” was coined by Washington Post cartoonist Herbert Blockwho used the word as a synonym for demagoguery, baseless defamation, and mudslinging. Basically what was happening in Blue Kite was the same thing…life is so depressing sometimes. This is something which people will use as a weapon when it serves them for whatever gain they want, no matter what country they live in.

The Cell Phone Accessories Market Is Worth How Many Billions?!!! Women Spend How Many Trillions?!

Money, Uncategorized

Last weekend, my visiting mother-in-law wanted to go to Pacific Mall, the largest Chinese mall in Canada that is open 365 days a year. It is set up like a Hong Kong shopping mall, with multiple tiny shops, street names such as “Hollywood Ave” and is a chaotic place in general. I haven’t been there in over a year as it is quite far from where I live.

Anyhow, over the last year, perhaps due to crackdown of police on too many illegal English dvds – the mall has changed from being a giant dvd store to a giant cell phone/tablet case store. There were over a dozen stores all carrying cases for any phone or tablet you can think of. The TIFF goddess wanted another leather case for her Iphone and was appalled to see many fake Bottega weave cases. It took a lot of my own restraint to not break down and buy a Hello Kitty case for my phone, everything looked adorable! In the end I ordered an “official” Samsung case online as it looked more grownup than the Hello Kitty or Totoro case I had been considering…I have to remember that I’m an old woman, professional, etc…

This got me wondering about how much this market is worth. Research firm ABI claims that in 2012, the market for cell phone accessories are worth $36 billion USD with $20 billion USD attributed to smart phones. By 2017, smart phone accessories will grow to $38 billion USD in revenue, both other type of phone accessories will decline to $12 billion USD. The average smart phone consumer will spend $56.18 USD on accessories for their phone, while other phone owners will spend $28.17 USD.

So are the margins that great for all the thousands of plastic cases hanging around Pacific Mall? The margins range from 25%-50% according to online retailer Comeparts.com. Considering the Samsung case which I bought online for $8 with free shipping from China; at Pacific Mall it was about $25 – it was most likely worth $4 at wholesale. More stats are available on this page about mobile phone use and consumers, such as “By the end of 2013, there will be more mobile devices on Earth than people!”

Meanwhile in my random internet searches, I discovered that as consumers, women represent a growth market bigger than China and India combined—more than twice as big! Harvard Business review states that they control about $20 trillion in annual consumer spending globally, which could increase to$28 trillion USD in the next five years. This great article dissects women into different lifestyle categories and concludes that there are many categories for business to lure women, especially in financial services. Also, in Japan, the men don’t help their wives with chores. Looking at the categories of women, at moment I believe I’m in the fast tracker category, but of course, it looks like over time things could change. Just saying…because I’m a pessimist…so we should save our $$ ladies for the rainy days!

Exploring Road Rage…

Uncategorized

Today we are preparing for a transuburban trek to visit my family 60 km North of us. If there is one thing my Viking husband fears, it is me behind the wheel and him trapped in the passenger seat. Last time we drove to Stratford (about 2.5 hours), he yelled that I was going to have a nervous breakdown due to my road rage issues. In the end, he had one before I did. All those Globe and Mail articles about women being “gatekeepers” and being anal about housework, is the opposite in my household, as I am married to a groomzilla who had several excel spreadsheets in 15 min increments of all people and tasks for our wedding. I was the reluctant bride who was told by my Dragon Mother before the wedding, “Just marry him. You can easily get divorced later if it doesn’t work out.” After the wedding, she said, “Divorce is out of the question! Do you know how much paperwork is involved!” I have not learned the fine art of manipulation yet, as my worst vice is brutal honesty which gets me into trouble a lot. But I digress…

Merriam-Webster definition of road rage (noun)

: a motorist’s uncontrolled anger that is usually provoked by another motorist’s irritating act and is expressed in aggressive or violent behavior

First Known Use of ROAD RAGE; 1988

Now I wanted to know – how do they know this was the year of the first known use of road rage?! This cited year came from the August ’98 issue of Atlantic Monthly, when journalist Michael Fumento cites evidence that this term firm appeared in 1988 and before that it was referred to as “aggressive driving”. He believes the this phrase is a pure media invention for sensational story telling as since it’s creation was based on “roid rage,” referring to sudden violent activity by people on steroids. “Road rage” and its supposed epidemic was then quickly made popular by lobbying groups, politicians, opportunistic therapists, publicity-seeking safety agencies, and the U.S. Department of Transportation.

Let’s accept the phrase “road rage” as aggressive behaviors by the driver of a motor vehicle, which seem well beyond the perceived offense committed by the victim. According to Dr. Randy A. Sansone, a number of factors may contribute to road rage:

environmental factors (greater number of miles driven per day, traffic density)
nonspecific psychological factors (displaced aggression, attribution of blame to others)
Axis I (alcohol and substance misuse) or II disorders (borderline and antisocial personality disorders)

The good news he reveals, is that while studies show one-third of drivers claim to have road road, far fewer drivers (≤2%) actually report serious threatening behavior or damage to another person or vehicle. As well, the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA) group and Statistic Brain (US data) reveal that “distraction” is one of the major factors in actual car crashes. Cell phones = common distraction. Drivers engaged in text messaging on a cellular phone are 23 times more likely to be involved in a crash or near crash event compared with non-distracted drivers. Road rage was not listed anywhere.

Some people believe that road rage is solely due to psychological character trails – Type A people are more prone to react to stress, making them more competitive, ambitious, impatient and aggressive; so they are more likely to engage in road rage. Type A personality types are also more likely to develop stress-related illnesses such as Coronary Artery Disease, high blood pressure etc. Of course, as with much research, these traits were developed from studies on middle age males, so there is uncertainty in application to females.

Online there are many quizzes for one to determine if they are a type A. Looking at the questions below, I say “yes” to about 6/9 so I guess I’m a Type A (is my Viking a Super Type A then?!). I theorize that I get road rage due to my lack of patience for people combined with my anxiety/stress about driving as I don’t drive very often. My lack in sense of direction adds to it as well. The Viking likes to ask me where East is once in a while and mocks me with delight when I get it wrong – lots of scarring on this front here…I guess I’ll try to write more to make more money to take taxis everywhere! Or come up with some psychology test and theory, then make big bucks by making people pay for them! Either way works!

Here are some adapted items from the interviews and questionnaires used to determine the Type A personality. Which are you?

(Affirmative responses suggest Type A personality)

• Are you pressed for time at and after work?

• Do you always take work home with you?

• Do you eat rapidly?

• Do you have a strong need to excel?

• Do you have trouble finding time to get your hair cut/styled?

• Do you feel or act impatient when you have to wait in line?

Hostility-related items:

• Do you get irritated easily?

• Are you bossy and domineering?

• When you were younger was your temper fiery and difficult to control?

Curing road rage

Ehow has a list of instructions on how to “cure” road rage:

1. Get adequate sleep each night
2. Create a relaxing atmosphere in your car.
3. Refrain from driving under stress.
4. Keep your distance from hazardous drivers.
5. Take deep breaths to get calm.
6. Don’t take the actions of an aggressive driver personally.
7. Keep in mind the lives of all motorists.

They all sound reasonable, so good luck to those that have to cope as well!

Starvings Brains on Our Planet! Alas, Poor Post-Docs!

Geek stuff, Money, science, Uncategorized

Dining with former colleagues who work in Neuroscience research tonight made me think about my past dream of becoming a mad scientist and holding the world hostage for wealth. When I was a child, I had seen too many Nintendo cartoons (Super Mario or Captain N: The Game Master? Can’t remember…) with “Mother Brain” among other villains and thought that it would be great to become a mad scientist. After all, they always had the goal of trying to take over the world and had great hair along with super duper technology (except for Mother Brain).

I did give research a shot, working in labs that studied the plant arabidopsis thaliana (the model plant) and different types of cancers which grew in children. The work was very interesting, but long and tedious. The cycle was obvious – you have to do experiments, write the paper, beg for grants for money for more experiments and the circle is infinite. All my bosses were females that were married w/o children or divorced. They were tremendously dedicated to their work and experts in specific subjects. There were no plots to take over the world or become billionaires. Doing the work to expand mankind’s knowledge was their goal and a very altruistic one.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder that affects about 1-2% of the population. During my time in the labs, I found myself sleeping on the floor of the lab and becoming very upset when experiments didn’t work out. As my OCD got worse, I decided to not go into research, but to try clinical work instead – which is how I ended up in Nuclear Medicine. Here’s a video and quiz on OCD to see if you have it too!

Years later, speaking with friends who made it through the PhD programs alive and found post-doc jobs; I was shocked to find out what their salaries were. They all accepted that low salaries were a way of life and those that wanted more stable income, left research for administration roles. Speaking to one hospital administrator, she said that the highest paid post doc there made $65,000/year. As my Viking husband dislikes anecdotal stories, here is some data to prove my point.

In the US, NIH Minimum Funding FY14 & FY13 for people with 7 or more years of research experience maxed out at $54,180 USD. This was already an increase from 2012’s $39,264 USD. Typically what happens is that the principal investigator (PI or the boss), applies for grants and a certain amount goes towards salaries for post docs. If they are nice and smart, they would also get some money from the institute’s foundation or split some other grants to increase a post doc’s salary. In Canada, the funding agency NSERC grants $40,000 CDN per year for two years for post docs.

Two blogs out there: 27 and a PhD and Ever On and On are two blogs written by people living their dream in the science community. They speak frankly about their choices and the reality of doing research in the US/Canada. Why does this problem exist you ask? Well, there are so many faculty positions available at the end of the day and many PhDs competing for them.

Not all hope is lost – they are forming union groups and organizations to increase their quality of life and wages. But if you are a post doc, I suspect you are already looking at this list of the best places to work in the world as listed in a 2013 Scientist article. When I told my about friend this list, he said that I should help him look for a list of where to get easy faculty positions! Did a quick search, didn’t find anything to help him…

To add to the madness, you can only be a post doc (with no benefits) for so many years…then you are suppose to get a real job. Alas, poor post docs!

Jackie Chan…And Why Dubs Are A Necessary Evil…

asian, films, Geek stuff, Uncategorized

Had a first world problem today. The Viking, TIFF goddess and I were suppose to watch Drunken Master tonight; one of the first Jackie Chan movies which gained him recognition as a slapstick comedy, kung fu superstar. Made in 1978, Jackie Chan plays a young and wild Wong Fei-Hung who painfully learns the technique of the Eight Drunken Gods and then has to protect his perpetually disapproving father from a hired assassin named Thunderleg. Jackie Chan was booked to introduce the movie and would be doing a Q & A afterwards.

Ten minutes before I order my sandwich to go (to eat in theater due to lack of time between work and movie), TIFF goddess calls me to say that TIFF just emailed her, telling her that the movie will be the English dub version! Argh! Wrong reel had been sent – seriously, the man is in town and the audience can’t even listen to his voice on the movie. Alas, both of us are film snobs, so we made the decision to not see the dubbed film and to just sneak in at the end to see Jackie Chan’s Q & A only (it turned out he wasn’t doing the intro). The Viking was left out of the decision making process, but he was busy and not answering his phone.

When I was younger, I didn’t realize that the Japanese animation I was watching was dubbed into Cantonese. Later on, as I watched more Japanese animation in Japanese, I started noticing the differences in the voice acting. For animation, Japanese voices were always the best, as the actors had proper schooling and everything sounded genuine. The Cantonese voices were ok, not too horrible. The English voices were not that great as the voices never sounded like they were taking things seriously. Over the course of the years, since spending time with English voice actors from Canada and US, the dubbing industry has changed and the bar is being set higher. I have seen girls rip out their shirts for breast autographs, so there are super voice actor fans out there…However, in the end, I still prefer the original voices the best as there are some things that can’t be translated and they maintain artistic qualities best.

I do recognize that dubbing opens many markets to a different types of media and it is a a necessity for internationalization and globalization of the entertainment industry. As audiences grow more sophisticated, the need for quality dubbing will continue to rise with higher production costs. The whole dubbing of foreign media started in the 1930s, so this has been around for a long time! Dubs have no doubt exposed people to many stories and creations outside of their home countries.

Anyhow, after many beers, rabbit pasta and pizza; our party headed upstairs for the Jackie Chan Q & A. We ended up watching the last 2 minutes of the dubbed film and the voices were awful! It sounded very cheesy and the theater full of audience were laughing, so I think they were enjoying it. The Viking told me it sounded torturous and was glad we skipped 109 minutes of it. The credits didn’t start rolling surprisingly enough and with the snap of a switch, the lights came on and Jackie Chan entered the room. Many people stood up while clapping and cheering. He was wearing a white kung fu master outfit with white shoes, which the TIFF goddess pointed out was a very 70s style thing to do. He spoke intelligently, as he explained how he was always thinking about how to keep his career afloat with different projects and changing all the time in order to learn new things. A very physical person, he kept demonstrating graceful martial arts moves as he spoke. Even though I sat far away, I could feel still his charisma and energy. He made an interesting point on how people elevate others to a higher status through exaggerated stories. He gave the example that perhaps in one hundred years time, Bruce Lee will have a shrine and will be a god, as more and more people believe in the super human stories of Bruce. As masses believe in the idea, anyone opposing this god idea would face consequences. Someone asked about his past promise about making e a movie about Cambodian land mines. He said that although he was the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), when he was visiting Cambodia, the government tourism board suggested that he defer the project as they were afraid such a film would scare away visitors. He said he would make it someday, but things take time. Apparently when he writes a script, it may take 6-8 years.

Overall, it was inspiring to see a successful Asian person whom I’ve always admired live in and speaking impressively. Also, the fact that he was always learning makes me think that maybe I’m not too crazy either for wanting to do different things all the time as well!

20130612_jackie small

Killer Angel Statues and Prime Ministers Being Asked to Have Sex with Pigs…Yup, I've been watching too much BBC again…

science fiction, television, Uncategorized, warped

I have been taking an informal survey of my co-workers and friends in regards to who watches the new Dr. Who or anything BBC. It’s vaguely amusing when people ask me back, “Dr. Who?” Anyhow, I was talking to a friend last night and told him to look up one Dr. Who episode in which alien weeping angel statues go around touching people and killing them (draining their energy, sending them back in time, etc). This is one fantastic creepy story! With no bloodshed too!

“Possessing a natural and unique defense mechanism, the Angels are quantum locked. This means that they can only move when no other living creature, including their own kind, is looking at them. As soon as they are observed, they instantly turn to stone and cannot be killed.” More explanation on what actually happens to the victims is discussed here on this Wikipedia page.

“Blink” (2007) is the tenth episode in the new Dr. Who series 3 in which these weeping angels first appear. I don’t want to spoil anything, but just know that you have to keep staring at these angel statues and keep your eyes open – every time you blink, they come closer and closer until they grab you! Argh!! This episode won a ton of British awards, for best writer, actress, etc. Fans of Dr. Who Magazine voted it as the second best episode ever in 2009.

The inspiration for these scary creatures came from a children’s game called “Grandma’s Footsteps” (I’ve never actually played though, not sure if it’s British too?). Anyhow, one person (male/female) is grandma who is facing the wall. The other people try to creep up on grandma and tap her on the shoulder. If grandma turns around suddenly, everyone has to stop moving. If someone moves, grandma points to them and they have to return to start. As long as grandma is looking, no one can move. Whoever taps grandma on the shoulder becomes the next grandma and the game starts again!

If this isn’t twisted enough for you, try watching a series called “Black Mirror“, another BBC show. One season consists of only 3 episodes and there are 2 seasons so far. This show really freaked out my Viking husband as the settings and how the characters react (ordinary people) are so realistic, yet what happens is very twisted. The first episode features a British princess from a Royal family that gets kidnapped. The only way the kidnapper would free her is for the Prime Minister to have sex with a pig on live television. There are public polls via social media in which this action is supported so that a life can be saved. What would you do if you were the Prime Minister?

Being Sold into Marriage Sucks…lesson from a "Scar Film"

family, films, Uncategorized, women

Yesterday afternoon the TIFF goddess took me to see a depressing film called “The Women from the Lake of Scented Souls” (Winner of the Golden Bear at the 1993 Berlin Film Festival). The main character is a woman named Xiang, who was sold at 7 years of age to a rich family and forced to marry a crippled husband. She wanted to commit suicide, but didn’t, due to her iron mother-in-law’s lecturing. Later on, she establishes a scented oil business and made her family the wealthiest in the village. Her husband would party all night (watching singing and HK movies on boats with other men, as well as drinking) while she did all the hard labor, running of the business, etc. They have a son who is mentally delayed (also has epileptic seizures) and a normal daughter. One day her son demands a wife as he sees some children pretending to get married. Since her son has a crush on a local girl from a poor family, she buys the girl to become her son’s wife after some manipulations of local lenders who couldn’t collect from this family. The business grows bigger as a single, modern Japanese lady invests into the business, making Xiang realize that her life is pretty crummy in the rural village and she has a really crappy husband. In the end, Xiang becomes enlightened as she realizes she may have destroyed this girl’s life by buying her and forcing her to marry her son. So she offers to let the girl go. But the girl cries as she doesn’t think anyone would want her as a wife.

The cinematography was incredibly beautiful in this movie and the people traveled down the river in wooden boats, adding to its exoticism. The director Xie Fei was there, explaining that he had been sent to this village for “re-education” as he had been a professor during the Communist Revolution. The TIFF staff who did the Q & A asked if he was sent to the village to learn, as if it was a vacation or something. Xie Fei just smiled politely and said that he learned a lot about the struggles of women there, as he said the women did all the hard labor while the men partied on the boats, doing no work. We learn that because of the Cultural Revolution, films were not made for popular consumption between 1966-1977. He is a “fourth generation” director, which means he had received his training before 1966, but then had his career disrupted by the revolution. This film is also considered a “scar film” which depicts the harsh reality of rural life, oppression, subjugation of women/peasants, old patriarchal system, death, destruction, war and lots of suffering.

women scented

Are Chinese women gaining more ground in society? There are articles on rich Chinese women in Forbes and many are more educated than before; but there is much contradictory data on the web. In a study by National University of Singapore’s Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy and the New York-based Asia Society, they state that just 10 of the 205 Communist Party’s Central Committee members are women, and no woman has ever held a spot on the Politburo Standing Committee, the party’s top decision-making body. In a 2010 survey of women’s social status in China by the All-China Women’s Federation, 61.6% of men and 54.6% of women surveyed said that “men belong in public life and women belong at home,” which actually increased in numbers from a survey done in 2000. Accounting firm Grant Thornton surveyed 200 businesses in China, of which 94% employed women in senior roles, which is good news. If you are interested in reading more, there is an article with links about the topic here.

This movie reminded me of my grandmothers as one had an arranged marriage and one did not. The grandmother that got to chose her spouse seemed happier I suppose, but there were also other factors; such as her wealthier family background, a chance at education and a choice in career (she became a high school principle). The other grandmother grew up in a rural community and was arranged into marriage at the old maid age of 18. This grandmother laments that her family refused to educate her, although her father was a school teacher and ended up only being able to do manual labour or crafts for money as a result of this (farm & embroidery work). Both grandmothers wanted the best for their children and grandchildren, especially the females, and passed on the lesson of the importance of education and not depending on anyone else for survival. Years later I asked the grandmother with the arranged marriage if she ever fell in love with grandfather, like on the Hong Kong soap operas. Her answer was that “it was different back then.” Today, the project manager that I work with listened to my description of all this and commented on how in present day that things are skewed the other way. People have fantasies and expectations of the other sex which are not realistic. They are all looking for a perfect someone which does not exist. The reality is that no one is perfect and being with someone means accepting their flaws.

The Price of Marriage in China is a fascinating article about modern spouse hunting in China in a country by the end of this decade, which will have a surplus of 24 million unmarried men. Chinese women postponing marriage to pursue careers, but are pressured to try to marry before 28 or they become stigmatized as “leftover women” or shengnu. Opposite are shengnan, “leftover men”, mostly poor rural men left behind as female counterparts marry up in age and social status. The article follows Diamond Love, a dating agency for rich men (fees range from $50,000 USD to more than $1 million USD) who want women that are young, beautiful and of course, a virgin. Interestingly, the agency rejected a rich woman client who wanted to spend $100,000 USD to find a husband which they said was impossible as she was too successful. The reporter also follows a mother trying to find a wife for his son who has a lower salary than women he meets. The girls either reject him, or offer to take care of him for the rest of his life. Very interesting and long article, have a look if you have time!

How To Warp A Child's Mind…

Babies, family, films, Uncategorized

What do you remember from your childhood in regards to movies, television or other forms of entertainment? Seeing an old Chinese gangster movie last night made me remember some horrible stuff I saw while I was trapped in the playpen.

This weekend, the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) goddess invited me and my husband to screenings of old Chinese movies which were part of “A Century of Chinese Cinema” featuring films from Mainland China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

The first one we saw was Chungking Express (1994), introduced by cinematographer Christopher Doyle. He said that the apartment in the film was actually his old apartment in Hong Kong and that the movie couldn’t have been set anywhere else but Hong Kong as it paid homage to the city at the time. He was rambling a bit and perhaps slightly drunk as he laid on the carefully covered grand piano, then started dancing at the Faye Wong song during the credits. TIFF goddess sighed at the lack of professionalism; but I smiled knowingly, thinking about all the Anime North guests I had taken care of in the past who were just as difficult and had to be chased down all the time to keep their activity schedule. The ending in which two characters waited for each other for over a year made me wonder if people now would wait such time for true love even it if was uncertain? Then I remember that my Viking (this is my nickname for my husband due to his red hair & beard) and I had been separated for three years as we were in different schools for a while. It seems like a small blip of time in our relationship now that we are on year 14.

Christpher Doyle introduces Chungking Express — Christpher Doyle introducing Chungking Express

It was the music in the second movie, A Better Tomorrow (1986) which made me and much of the audience (Chinese girls/boys) feel nostalgic as we grew up listening to this music which infiltrated Hong Kong culture at the time. The movie was not really about cool gangsters (trend of the 90s) as they were on the “wrong road”, but about comradery and the Chinese title “True Colors of a Hero” explains the extent of sacrifice one would do for their friends. The long trench coats, brick cellphones, cd players, eighties hairdos and horrible subtitle translations added to the charm of the film.

The songs in the movie were mainly sung by Leslie Cheung, a super talented pop star who came out in the later years and then committed suicide due to depression. Nansun Shi was the executive producer of the movie and she had some great stories about how everyone thought that the film would fail as nonsense comedies were the trend at the time. She sounded like a super smart lady who would make a great role model; will have to learn more about her sometime. “Surely your mother would not have let you watch gangster films as a child!” the TIFF goddess lamented after I told her how the music reminded me of my childhood.

I started to recall what the days were like when trapped in the play pen/child jail. Back in the day, there were barely any Chinese video stores around, so my mother’s friends would record many movies onto VHS tapes and lend them around. It was important that the children watch Hong Kong entertainment or we would never learn the language! I remember watching happy children cartoons…which faded into static…then movies with war, monsters, ghosts, vampires and other things that were adult rated would come on as the tape kept rolling. My most vivid and frightening memory of a movie during my play pen days was one about the Vietnam war and a scene in which a prisoner was tortured in various ways before finally being hung upside down and having his throat slit. I remember crying out for my mother, but no one came. I’m sure they were busy with something at the time. Anyhow, speaking with my brother, he remembers a movie with a clown running around raping police women. The clown was caught after the police hired a prostitute to dress up as a police women as a decoy. He was scared of clowns for years and still is, perhaps.

As for me, after the horrible torture scenes, I was not bothered by aliens, monsters or any “horror” genre things after this. It might also explain how afterwards I started reading lots of Stephen King and Clive Barker to find the initial “thrill” of being shocked again. My parents assumed I was reading Jane Austin, but they didn’t really care as long as I was reading something to improve my English…My siblings and I turned out ok in the end, but I’m not sure if I would do the same to my child as I think I’m become indifferent to many things compared to my Viking. Horror movies gives him nightmares and he is not my partner when it comes to watching that type of stuff.

Japanese psychological horror movies are more interesting to me now than the American slash stuff as I have read/watched too much of it as a teenager. The most disturbing scene in the famous horror franchise Ju-On (American remake – The Grudge) for me is not the killing, but it is when the main character tries to hide under her bed sheets, but can’t, as the little boy ghost is there watching her. Similarly, in the Japanese manga Uzumaki in which people turn into snails and are trapped in a small town; the most horrible scene is when starving business men start eating the snails and saying that it tasted like sashimi. After randomly picking up that book and reading that panel, I thought with glee – wow, that is so horrible, that it’s going to be stuck in my brain forever!

But for now, I think I’ll pause and listen to this beautiful music from “A Better Tomorrow” while feeling some nostalgia. Some people tell me that childhood was their happiest time in their lives due to lack of responsibility and worries. For me, I remember being depressed and a bit suicidal starting at the age of four, perhaps due to watching so much death on film. My brain was warped early on I suppose, which explains why I’m so dark and cynical sometimes!

Becoming a Narcissistic Black Hole Writer…

publishing, Uncategorized, Writing

Since I’ve started talking to more people about writing, publishing, etc.; I have discovered that many of them give me the impression that they are a bit narcissistic and a black hole who tries to suck you into their universe.

“The only way to write is to do this…”

“You can only find agents if you do this…”

“Who’s the most famous writer you know? I guess it’s me…hahahaha!”

Well, how can you blame them? Writing is such a solidarity activity as you sit at a desk and write without any interaction or dialogue with anyone else. You may discuss your ideas generally with people, but you still have to do all the grunt work and crafting.

There is no worry that I’ll become like this as I have many forces around me keeping this from happening.

When I told my aunt that I was going to write a book, she said that I shouldn’t bother. “You’re not famous and you’re not a celebrity. Who’s going to read your shitty book?” I’ve failed before I even tried to do anything.

For my fiction writing, my husband doesn’t say much, as he claims he isn’t a creative person. But when I tell him about conversations I’ve had with friends and family on a daily basis, he counters with, “I can’t take any more anecdotal stories! Give me data and stats! What you are telling me defies logic!” So any attempt to talk becomes a bantering exercise as he grew up with many debates around the dinner table. He is also monitoring this blog to see what illogical nonsense I’m thinking about and what topics are available to challenge me with. Sometimes I wished I married a stereotypical quiet Asian man instead, but that would be too boring I suppose.

Then there is this whole slew of medical tests for this parasite/munchkin making process. There is nothing more humbling than to enter a little room on a daily basis for two weeks out of every month and having someone tell you to drop your pants/tights. You are not in control at that point and the probing of the unspoken part begins.

My grandmother before she passed told me one day, “Do not think you are the best in anything. There will always be people better than you, but there will always be people worse than you as well. Do not become over confident and think you do not have to continue to work hard.”

I guess I’ll keep on trucking and put my pedal to the metal…or fingers on the keyboard…sigh…